Tag Archives: Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy

To Tame An Urge

Posted on November 3, 2015

Magnifying glass on the word Redefine and related terms such as revise, redo, revisit, review, reposition, rethink, reconsider, reinvent, remodel and reevaluate

We all have triggers. It might be a situation or an emotion; a sight, sound or smell; a holiday or a time of day. Something that our brain learned over time to associate with our addictive behavior, and that it needs to unlearn as we start to break that connection. For me, it was cocktail receptions. They weren’t the only situation I associated with drinking – far from it – but they were one of the toughest. At the end of a long day at a conference, having watched what felt like 11,000 nearly-identical presentations in a row (and gulping down way too much coffee in order to stay alert) those clinking glasses and twinkling lights exerted a powerful pull. And the few times I ‘slipped’ after I quit (fortunately, one-drink slips) were at cocktail receptions. After the second time it happened, I knew I had to confront the situation…by avoiding it. Continue reading

Honoring The Diversity Of Recovery

Posted on October 20, 2015

(originally posted May, 2011)

There are as many types of recovery as there are individuals

diversityIf there are as many ways to recover as there are individuals, then SMART Recovery®, or any approach, group, or treatment, will appeal to, or be helpful to, only some individuals. I hope that no one associated with SMART Recovery ever overlooks the diversity of addiction recovery. Recoveries are diverse because humans are diverse. In this post, we will look at some of the ways that recoveries differ.

1. Degree of natural recovery – Most of those who recover do so without ever attending a self-help group or treatment center, even if the addiction was severe. These individuals often receive substantial support along the way, but it comes from friends and family. (This does not mean that most of those currently addicted will recovery naturally, but rather that most of those who have recovered have done so naturally.)

2. Involvement goal – If an addictive behavior is defined not simply by use or level of involvement, but primarily by the negative consequences it causes, Continue reading

Private, Convenient, Online Recovery Support

Posted on October 5, 2015

Access addiction recovery support from home
-Dolores Cloward, SMART Recovery® Volunteer

CommunityIf you are looking for help with addiction recovery, whether it’s addiction to substances or addiction to behaviors, SMART Recovery Online is a wonderful place to start. Our program is science-based, incorporating scientific best practices in psychology. Here, you will find a supportive online community (message board forums, 24/7 chat and daily online meetings). We also offer practical tools to help you think your way through what you want for your life and how to go about achieving it. And, like other addiction recovery programs, SMART Recovery Online is free and accessible from home. It may be the only resource you need!

What is SMART Recovery?

Now in its third decade, SMART Recovery is a non-profit organization that offers tools for addiction recovery based on scientific research. In addition to over 1,600 local meetings world-wide, our website is home to an international recovery community Continue reading

USA and UOA: Unconditional Self-Acceptance and Unconditional Other Acceptance

Posted on September 8, 2015

by Jonathan von Breton, CCMHC

“The greatest sickness known to man or woman is called self-esteem. If you have self-esteem, then you’re sick, sick, sick, because you say: I’m okay because I do well and because people love me, so when I do poorly, which I’m a fallible human and will, and people hate me because they may jealously hate me or they just don’t like me, then back to shithood I go.”

Albert Ellis, Ph.D.

 wearenotThis is number 1 of the 3 basic “musts” that cause human disturbance:

 “I absolutely must perform well on important projects and be approved by significant people or else I am an inadequate and unlovable person!” (Leads to) Feelings of serious depression, anxiety, panic, self-downing. ..… Personally, you can’t always succeed not to mention succeed perfectly. Being a fallible human, you just can’t.”     Albert Ellis

Yes, rating one’s behavior as opposed to one’s self is much easier said than done. Yes, our society strongly encourages the opposite. In fact, our society has a vested interest in doing so. I still have a hard time with it myself and I’ve had years of practice.

In general, I find it helpful to rate my behaviors as:

Successful, they help me get what I want and avoid what I don’t want.
Unsuccessful, they fail to help me get what I want and avoid what I don’t want.

Effective or Ineffective. This is another way of saying successful/unsuccessful.

Consistent with my goals, values, ethics, beliefs.
Inconsistent, counter to, my goals, values, ethics, beliefs.

However, those are all behaviors. They aren’t my ‘self’ (whatever that is).  The behaviors can be measured and rated, at least to a certain degree. The self can’t even be defined, let alone rated. Continue reading

Am I Powerless or Powerful?

Posted on August 17, 2015

by Jean Greer McCarthy

Jean Greer McCarthy is a blogger, podcast host and recovery advocate from Alberta, Canada. She is the author of unpickledblog.com, a regular contributor to addiction.com, and co-host of The Bubble Hour podcast.The concept of powerlessness was perplexing as I contemplated life without alcohol. I was in the awful back and forth of failed attempts, beginning each morning with a vow that “this would be the day” and deciding firmly in late afternoon that due to circumstances x, y or z, it was essential to continue drinking.

The online evaluations I frequented assured me that my drinking pattern was problematic, yet the only solution I knew of seemed to disqualify me with it’s first “step” of declaring powerlessness. I felt there was still a glimmer of empowerment in the decision I made each day, even though it was a decision to drink. Continue reading

Point 3: Managing Thoughts, Feelings and Behaviors

Posted on August 10, 2015

By Elspeth

I recI Am a Work in Progress ently heard an interview with a man who’d quit drinking four years earlier after decades of heavy drinking. “So basically I’m now an emotional 17-year-old, since I started drinking when I was 13.” This feeling of emotional immaturity rings true for many people who have given up addictions. When I quit drinking, I didn’t feel like an adolescent—I’d been successful in many areas of my life even while knocking back too much wine—but neither did I feel quite like a grown-up no matter what my birth certificate or my mirror claimed. Continue reading