Feed Your Frustration Intolerance Some Data
by Malek Mneimne, M.A.
Life is filled with constant adversities, challenges, and difficult situations. According to the A-B-C-D-E model of REBT (Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy), “A” stands for adversity (or activating stimulus). Not everybody is faced with the same A’s or challenges in life, and we have varying views of what is challenging or difficult to overcome. Nonetheless, adversity, challenge, or difficulty, however defined, is inevitable, much like death, taxes, and ratings of worth.
Adversity can contribute to feelings of hopelessness and depression. In the face of adversity, we may believe that we can’t stand it or that it cannot be overcome. We may believe that nothing we do will change the adversity or difficult situation. We need not be powerless in the face of adversity, however.
Oftentimes, people become unnecessarily hopeless and depressed when they believe that they can do little, if anything, about adversities or difficulties facing them. Continue reading
An Exercise For Building Urge Busting Muscle
Discomfort is a fact of life. It is especially a fact of life when you have strong urges to engage in addictive behavior and you resist them. Part of the SMART program includes tools to cope with urges – below we’ve included an exercise that may help you cope with the discomfort of urges.
- Let yourself feel the full experience of discomfort – no avoiding!
- Once you’ve felt it, do a gut check – get an overall estimate of the discomfort level. Let’s say on a 100-point scale, you’re feeling discomfort at a 75.
- After you have identified your “discomfort level” divide the discomfort into two pieces:
- The literal, actual sensations you feel and
- The “I don’t want these sensations!” reaction that you have toward the literal, actual sensations.
- Once you’ve made the “cut,” see which piece is bigger. Most folks report it is the “I don’t want these sensations!” part, not the literal, actual sensations part.
- Now you make a second cut. This time cut the “I don’t want these sensations” piece into
- “I just don’t want these sensations” and
- “I MUST NOT have these sensations.”
Which of these two pieces carries more discomfort? Most people say it’s the “I MUST NOT have these sensations” piece. Continue reading