My second two year anniversary (I do like to passively count sober time) came and went last week. This isn’t my first rodeo either. This is my second time achieving two years sober, and my third time achieving one year+. My first few (real) attempts were in the rooms of 12-step programs. This time it was me — with the support of SMART Recovery Online.

My first set of two years and the second set were separated by three or four lapses. My frustration with those lapses led me to google “non-12-step based recovery,” which is how I found SMART. Did SMART get me sober? No. I got myself sober. SMART helped me identify my SELF as the key to sustained sobriety. I remember the first time I went to one of JVB’s meetings and I said something along the lines of, “why can’t I just stop?” And he said something along the lines of, “well, you can.” It was one of those life clarifying moments. I was on my own with this. SMART was here to support me, but getting clean and sober was on me. There’s no Mommy and Daddy here. I realized that if I really wanted to stop for good — then I could, but JVB wasn’t going to do it for me, nor was anyone else.

My thinking about drinking

What SMART helped me understand, through the CBA* and the ABCs* and USA*, is that my lapses over the past five years had more to do with the parts of me that still really wanted to drink. My lapses were not a reflection of incapability or inability to stop. It wasn’t that I couldn’t stop, it was that I hadn’t fully addressed the parts of my thinking that still wanted to drink. At that time I still had free floating thoughts like:

“ah, just one won’t kill me”
“I was never that bad, I don’t do cocaine or crystal meth anymore”
“I can control it — just like my other family members”
“I’ll just have one”
“I’ll just have….two”
“Ok, I’ll just have…three — and then I’ll stop”

Instead of actively challenging these use-promoting thoughts, I tried to ignore them the way that I still try to ignore the cats’ litter box. Eventually, I had to clean those turds out. (And using lavender infused kitty litter only masks the problem.)

What I needed was a strong, solid, internal drive to get sober

And now here I am in my third SOLID attempt at life-long recovery as an adult woman. (I’m not counting all the 30, 60, and 90 days I got as a teenager — I have enough colorful key chains and coins to start a small museum of 12-step recovery accessories). The past two years is no comparison to my past attempts. SMART Recovery helped me develop a strong, solid internal drive to get sober. So while I credit myself with getting sober, I credit SMART with helping me locate and strengthen the only person that could get me to stop drinking, and to stop drinking for good.

About the author: Sara works at an outpatient substance abuse treatment center for dually diagnosed, mostly mandated clients. She is a SMART Recovery online member and a former online meeting facilitator. Currently, she continues her volunteer support for SMART in the 3D world by speaking in support of SMART in the NYC area and arranging SMART presentations in different settings.

I headed out in the middle of the morning. It was brilliantly sunny and the day would warm up quickly. I went out to my usual trail and headed north, finding my running rhythm. It was slower than it used to be, but I’d taken a few months off. Or more accurately, I had focused on my ‘drug of choice’ rather than on my recovery. It felt good to run again. This was me – the sober me. And it felt good.

As the trail rolled surprisingly easy underneath me, I noticed other things: the ducks flying over me, the spring birds singing. Someone was ambitious and mowing his grass for the first time this year, somewhere off the trail. A large community event was gearing up for the day with a couple of stages and lots of white tents. Families with strollers and people walking dogs were all along the trail.

I realized once again that somewhere in the fog of my drug of choice I’d forgotten what it was like to be sober. I’d forgotten how I enjoy sobriety. If I’d been drinking today I’d likely be on my first “nap” of the day. Instead I chose to be sober today. I chose to enjoy the parts of my life that I cannot enjoy while drinking.

The winter was long and hard in more ways than one. But it was a new season and a new day. It was time to start anew and make better plans this time, to avoid the mistakes of the past.

If you’re coming back from a relapse you realize several things. The first is that you know what it takes to get sober. You know how to deal with urges, plan around challenging situations, and manage your thinking. The second is that you know how good sober life can be – the clear mind, reconnecting with the positive things in life, and simply feeling good. You may have to rediscover these, but you’ll find that they come back more quickly this time. You’ve already made important steps on your journey, and they may include things like rediscovering yourself and thinking more about …well, how you’re thinking.

You may feel frustrated and discouraged. Your loved ones may feel the same way. How to deal with it? Learn from your mistakes and as JvB (SMART Faciliator) says, “keep trying”. You can get there if you do. You can succeed. And if you’re coming back from a relapse, you might find yourself getting back to your sober self quicker than you might have expected. You have run down this trail before.

About the author: Green-In-MI is a SMART Recovery Online Member and Volunteer. He continues to build on his progress and enjoys endurance sports and gardening

Friday, May 10, 2013
5:00 pm EDT
Webinar Registration
 

The SMART Recovery approach to addiction recovery is based on SELF-Management. Effective management includes measuring progress. What better way to assess your personal progress with the SMART tools than to use the newest addition to the SMART Recovery toolbox, the Activities Self-Assessment Checklist.

SMART Recovery will host a webinar featuring Donald Meichenbaum, Ph.D. and Julie Myers, Psy.D. on May 10, 2013 at 5 pm EDT.  They will be discussing how checklists, such as the SMART Recovery Activities Self-Assessment (SRAS), can be used by participants, facilitators, and professionals to help guide and assess the recovery process. Dr. Meichenbaum, one of the founders of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT), will be sharing with the audience his extensive knowledge and experience with such checklists in both self-help and therapy settings. 

The Activities Self-Assessment Checklist, designed by Dr. Myers and Dr. Meichenbaum, specifically for use by members of SMART Recovery, is a practical and effective tool for navigating through the addiction recovery change process.  Two versions of the recently updated checklist (one for participants and one for professionals) are available on the SMART Recovery website .
 
Register today for this SMART Webinar.

The webinar will be recorded and may be made available on SMART Recovery’s podcast site. . 

SMART Recovery is pleased to offer free webinars on topics of interest as a public service. Please share with your friends, family and colleagues. 

Donald Meichenbaum, Ph.D. is Distinguished Professor Emeritus, University of Waterloo, Ontario Canada from which he took early retirement 17 years ago to become the Research Director of the Melissa Institute for Violence Prevention, Miami: MelissaInstitute.Org. He is one of the founders of Cognitive Behavior Therapy. In a survey of clinicians, Dr Meichenbaum was voted ” one of the 10 most influential psychotherapists of the 20th century.” Dr.Meichenbaum recently received a Lifetime Achievement Award from the Clinical Division of the American Psychological Association. He has presented in all 50 U.S. States and internationally. He has published extensively. His most recent book is Roadmap to Resilience.

Julie Myers, Psy.D., MSCP is a clinical Psychologist in San Diego, specializes in teaching self-regulatory strategies for coping with addictive behaviors, anxiety, and other mental health conditions. She is a Master Addiction Counselor, holds a Postdoctoral Masters Degree in Clinical Psychopharmacology, and serves on the California Psychological Association, Psychopharmacology Division Board. Dr. Myers has been a long-time contributor to SMART Recovery and is the co-author with Dr. Meichenbaum of the SMART Recovery Activities Scale (SRAS). You can find her blog and other helpful resources on her website: DrJulieMyers.com.  

    

 

 

  

      

  

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When you hear the word “complaining” you probably have some sort of negative reaction. It probably conjures up images of people in your life who whine or routinely throw themselves pity parties but don’t do anything to improve their circumstances. What you may be less likely to think of are the times when you yourself were the whiner. So why might that be? I’ll be the first to admit out loud the dirty little secret many of us hold…

Complaining often feels VERY GOOD

No one likes being faced with difficult situations but when we are, our natural reaction may be to seek support from others. We may search for validation and compassion to help soothe ourselves in our times of need. Complaining is an excellent way of garnering such attention. When we whine, people pay attention – see how well it works for babies? But the big difference between a whining infant and ourselves is that – luckily – we are capable of changing and improving our circumstances!

Complaining may be effective in getting people to pay attention us and thus fulfill our goal of obtaining social support. Nonetheless, in the long run, it runs the risk of 1) annoying other people and 2) maintaining our negative emotions. Complaining and the thoughts that fuel our complaints are generally very effective at keeping us paralyzed in an angry, anxious, or overall unhealthy emotional state.

So how can you get the support you need without the incessant complaining that ticks others off and keeps you upset? When you’re faced with a problem or difficult situation, you can assure yourself it is indeed a stinky situation. Something you didn’t want to happen has happened. Unfortunately, that’s life and you can choose to look at it as stinky but certainly not horrible. Nonetheless, it makes sense that you’d be feeling upset. Give yourself some realistic validation – but not for too long! As soon as you are calm enough, try asking yourself what can be done to improve your circumstances. If you’d like, rationally express your frustration or worry to a friend or loved one while also seeking their help in problem-solving. Others may be less likely to become annoyed when they feel like they can help you and think that you’re not JUST seeking attention. Further, by not ruminating and working to improve your situation you’re less likely to feel paralyzed by your negative emotions and more likely to feel empowered and productive.

So your homework this week (and mine!): Catch yourself complaining, STOP, rationally validate yourself, and problem-solve on your own and with help from others. You will thank yourself (and so will your friends)!

Source: Albert Ellis Institute

Intense negative emotions, experienced in response to difficult life situations, are known to fuel unhealthy use of alcohol and drugs for some people. For addiction recovery tools you can use to learn to let go of paralyzing negative emotions in a healthy way, visit SMART Recovery Tools and Articles.

This newest edition of the SMART Recovery Handbook (for participants) is the culmination of many months of in-depth review and revision work by a dedicated team of volunteers. It provides additional tools, exercises and strategies to help people recover from their addictive behaviors. It features:

•New content – new program tools and strategies,
•Simplified writing style to improve readability,
•Worksheets compiled in the appendix for easy use.

Tom Horvath, President of SMART Recovery, calls this new edition of the Handbook, a “quantum leap” in providing techniques and tools for recovery. “The Handbook has been transformed and is really a pleasure to read.”

The 3^rd edition is easy-to-read and offers tools and techniques to help people abstain from their addictive behaviors using SMART’s 4-Point Program^®:

1) building and maintaining motivation;
2) coping with urges;
3) managing thoughts, feelings and behaviors; and
4) living a balanced life.

Rosemary Almond, Editor and head of the revision work done by the Handbook Team, believes that this new Handbook will introduce SMART to new audiences and help people to recover and lead healthy, balanced lives. “The addition of a handy section of worksheets in the appendix allows readers to find the worksheets and easily make copies to use as part of their daily recovery routine.”

SMART Recovery Handbooks are available through SMART’s online bookstore.

SMART Recovery, founded in 1994, bases its programs on scientific approaches to addiction recovery, and empowers its users to achieve abstinence goals. Operated almost entirely by volunteers, SMART sells its publications at a nominal cost to help support the organization.

If you are new to addiction recovery you may be surprised to notice that your emotions can be a bit of a whirlwind. You are not alone; the emotional roller coaster is a natural part of the recovery process for many people. There are a couple reasons for this experience.

First, you’ve been soaking your brain in your drug of choice, often for months or years. Depending on your personal use pattern, it’s going to take some time for your brain to adjust to not being soaked. In the meantime, you might experience your brain’s adjustment as a cascade of emotions. I like to tell a story about crying at a song from The Muppet Movie — one of the happy songs.

Second, many people use alcohol or other substances to avoid dealing with difficult or painful emotions like grief, anger, or anxiety. For example, you might be attempting to avoid mourning a lost loved one. Or you might be avoiding dealing in a more effective way with something like anxiety issues. In any of these cases, when you stop using, those painful emotions are going to be welling back up in full force, and arguably you will feel them more acutely due to the adjustments going on in your brain.

It Does Get Better

The good news is that this experience does get better. Your brain will get used to living without your drug of choice. And hopefully you can find ways of effectively dealing with difficult emotions, instead of working to escape from them. REBT tools like the ABC exercise offer a way to dissect ‘problem feelings’ and deal with them. SMART’s toolbox also has materials on anxiety and unhelpful or irrational thoughts, and the message board has a specific section devoted to the topic of “Dealing with Grief While Recovering from Addictions.”

I remember my own frustrations in early recovery with everyone saying “it gets better,” and me, a red hot mess wondering, “yeah, but WHEN!?” The frustrating answer is: it depends. Different people have different physiologies and different histories of usage. But hang in there and know that it will get better. Your head will clear and by using SMART tools you’ll learn to effectively deal with those difficult emotions.

When I started in SMART, a facilitator named 3-Dog was fond of saying: “You’ve been putting your body and your brain through a lot with your drug of choice. Go easy on yourself. Try and do something you enjoy every day.” I’ve always interpreted this as eating chocolate.

About the author: Green-In-MI is a SMART Recovery Online Member and Volunteer. He continues to build on his progress and enjoys endurance sports and gardening

SMART Recovery celebrates Volunteer Month in April of each year, as a way to recognize the efforts of its many dedicated volunteers.

SMART is a “volunteer organization” and the robust growth in meetings during the past year is a direct result of the enthusiastic efforts of its volunteers. They have done a terrific job. In the last year, the number of weekly SMART face-to-face meetings has grown by 35% and at SMART Recovery Online, 245 new “seats” have been added to the weekly meeting schedule.

During Volunteer Month, SMART not only celebrates its current volunteers, but also encourages others to join in, to help meet the growing demand for more SMART Recovery meetings throughout the world. Any volunteer at SMART Recovery will tell you that volunteering is a rewarding experience — and what better place to share your energy and expertise in all things recovery-related?!

Training Scholarships Available

Thanks to an anonymous donor, a number of Volunteer Training Scholarships are available during Volunteer Month for those who qualify for financial assistance to cover the cost of the SMART Recovery Facilitator and Support Team Distance Training (FAST Training).

Volunteer Training Scholarships are available for local and online facilitators, message board volunteers, chat volunteers, and other volunteers who may benefit from the SMART Recovery FAST* training.

Application Process

Applications for Volunteer Training Scholarships will be accepted during the entire month of April. If you’ve been considering volunteering at SMART Recovery, now may be your best time to get trained, get involved, and experience the rewards of helping others who are working to make positive changes in their lives.

Early application for a Training Scholarship is encouraged.

Training

Training covers four weeks and the timing is flexible. The training materials are provided online and volunteers may complete the training according to their own schedule. There are two “real-time” meetings required during the four week training period. Volunteers may choose the real-time meeting that is most convenient for their schedule.

Upon the successful completion of the FAST training and the submission of your Volunteer Registration Form (containing your meeting information), you will receive a Meeting Starter Kit (a $45 value) consisting of 4 DVDs, a SMART Recovery Handbook, and a SMART Recovery baseball cap to use when “passing the hat” at your local meeting. The SMART Recovery Facilitator’s Manual is available during Volunteer Month as a free downloadable PDF when you register for training.

Recovery Month Volunteer Training Scholarship - Apply Here

Online Volunteer Descriptions

For the participants interested in volunteering for our online community, volunteer job descriptions are available online. Feel free to contact any current volunteer to ask any questions you may have about the experience of volunteering.

Handout for Local Facilitators

Local Facilitators: Please hand out Volunteer Month flyers to your participants.

Your qualified participants can apply for Volunteer Month Training Scholarships!

Thank you for your participation!

* Please note: Additional training may be required for some volunteer positions.

Australian and UK volunteers, contact your local office for details.

Self-Management and Recovery Training for teens and youth is now being offered via the SMART Recovery website. The program includes strategies for dealing with peer pressure, coping with urges, managing emotional upsets, and more.

SMART for Teens & Youth

Non 12-step based
Self-Management means you are in control
Provides tools for all stages of recovery
Accepted by many courts as required meeting attendance
Topic-based meetings, which encourage discussion
A message board for any questions, issues, or discussions
Peer support
Run by trained volunteers who are SMART members themselves
Supported by professional Volunteer Advisors
SMART Recovery is recognized by NIDA and other agencies

Resources:

An online message board forum for has been established for members aged 14-22 and a new Teen & Youth meeting has been added to the meeting schedule (Sunday nights at 8 PM ET). A SMART Handbook for Teens is also available through our online bookstore.

If drugs, alcohol, or other behaviors are getting in the way of what you really want, the Teen & Youth Team is looking forward to introducing you to “the power of choice”.

More information can be found by visiting the Teen & Youth landing page on the SMART Recovery website.

People often think that the actions of other people create their anger. “They make me so angry!” is a common statement. If that were the case, there would be little you could do about your anger (except to stay away from most people!) Fortunately, others don’t create your anger. In REBT (Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy) we teach that your own thinking corresponds with your anger, more than the actions of others.

To discover your thinking that is creating your anger, REBT suggests that you look for the event about which you are angry and then look for your belief about that event. Think, “What happened that I’m angry about?” E.g., someone cut you off in traffic, someone failed to follow through on an agreement, or someone treated you with disrespect. Next, ask yourself, “What am I telling myself about (name the event) that gets me to feel angry?”

When asked what they are telling themselves about the event, many people will answer, “Why’d they do that?” with an intense and frustrated tone of voice. That response, however, is a question, and questions do not create anger. You’re probably telling yourself “I don’t like their behavior. They’re mistaken for acting that way.” But, that too doesn’t get you bent out of shape with anger. That just gets you annoyed or disappointed.

So, What’s Really Getting You Upset?

Look to see if you can find something like “They should not act that way. They’re no damn good for doing what they did.” Statements that contain shoulds and damnations are of the sort that create emotional disturbance, and when you are going from wanting others to treat you nicely to believing that they should, then you easily upset yourself with anger.

Try this exercise. Repeat several times: “They should not act that way. They’re no damn good for doing what they did.” Notice how you feel.

Disputing Irrational Beliefs (DiBs)

How can you discover your underlying beliefs and then reduce your anger? Focus on the event about which you are angry. Then, look for the shoulds and damnations in your head that accompany your anger. When you do, you’ll discover a significant belief that you can begin to deal with. One of the main procedures taught in REBT for diminishing anger is Disputing Irrational Beliefs. An irrational belief (iB) is one which is rigid, inconsistent with reality, illogical or interferes with your psychological well-being and gets in the way of pursuing your personally meaningful goals.

An example of DiBs:

Irrational Belief (iB): “They should not act as they do and they’re no damn good for doing so.”

Disputing question: Is there any evidence that my belief is true?
Answer: No. I definitely do not like their actions but I cannot prove that they absolutely should not act that way. They’re may definitely be mistaken, but that doesn’t prove them to be “no good.”

Disputing question: What good can happen to me if I give up my belief?
Answer: I’ll diminish my anger. I will not like their behavior, but I will not be irrational about it. I may also be able to think of their more positive qualities, if any, and decide how I will go about relating to them, even with their faults.

When you do the above analysis and therapeutic exercise, you may begin chipping away at your anger.

Doing it many times may help you eliminate it almost completely.

PhilipTate. Ph.D., is author of the book titled Alcohol: How to Give It Up and Be Glad You Did, which is included in SMART Recovery^®’s Recommended Reading List. This article originally appeared in a previous issue of SMART Recovery^® News & Views.