Category Archives: Family & Friends

Upcoming event: Talking about Addiction for Kids and Young Adults

Posted on February 15, 2016

Stanton Peele Interview

Interview with Dr. Stanton Peele by Dr. Tom Horvath, President, SMART Recovery

Saturday, February 20, 5:00PM EST

To register for this online event, just go to http://www.smartrecovery.org/events/ and hit “Register for this free event.” 

This will be a wide-ranging talk about addiction and today’s youth and teens. Dr. Horvath, SMART’s President, will interview Dr. Stanton Peele on what is needed in society, in public policy, for parents, and for those in the caring and justice professions, to better help our young people.And for young adults, we want to show you the power of making your own choices and having solid resources for decision-making readily available, so you can assess what’s best for you and live a life of freedom and power. Continue reading

How To Avoid Conversation Traps

Posted on January 27, 2016

– reposted from the Center for Motivation and Change blog

 

holidaysIf you are someone who would like to help a loved one change their relationship with substances or to make any behavioral change, there are four essential tools you can learn. First, Helping through Understanding or thinking about issues of addiction differently using the science we now have available. Second, Helping by Taking Care of Yourself as you need to be able to survive and thrive while trying to help. Third, Helping through Words or learning positive communication strategies that shift the conversation from negative to positive. And Fourth, Helping with Actions which are usually using positive reinforcement strategies.

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Celebrating the Holidays with Recovering Family Members and Friends

Posted on November 17, 2015

Peter Gaumond, Chief, ONDCP Recovery Branch

Holidays in RecoveryThis time each year can be stressful for anyone, but the holidays present a special challenge for people recovering from a substance use disorder. Those in long-term recovery typically are adept at navigating the minefield of temptation at holiday social gatherings. But many of those in their first year of recovery, their friends, and family members wonder how best to celebrate the holidays safely, comfortably, and joyously.

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When a Loved One is Addicted

Posted on September 17, 2015

How Family & Friends Can Help
Practical Recovery

Help AlcholicCan people get addicted to alcohol? Yes. But as a spouse, you can help your husband cut back on his drinking. In fact, the suggestions outlined below could be used to help anyone stop or cut back on…

ANY addictive behavior!

But to keep it simple, we will talk about how to help your husband stop drinking.

When will my husband stop drinking?

Generally, drinking stops when your husband realizes that the costs of drinking exceed the benefits. You could wait until the costs are very large, so that he can realize the problem more easily. However, by that point his thinking may not be very clear, and he (and you) will have paid a substantial price, possibly to include problems (such as health problems) that will endure. So it is better to stop drinking sooner rather than later.

How can I help my husband get sober?

In this approach you are looking to build the “landing place” before you ask him to “jump.” Many heavy drinkers are reluctant to quit drinking because Continue reading

Book Review: “In This Moment. Five Steps to Transcending Stress Using Mindfulness and Neuroscience. “

Posted on June 23, 2015

Portrait of pensive womanIn This Moment.   Five Steps to Transcending Stress Using Mindfulness and Neuroscience.  2015, New Harbinger, $16.95.   By Kirk Strosahl, PhD and Patti Robinson, PhD.

In SMART, we use Tools to reduce stress and disturbances.   We use the ABC Tool to reduce our self-made cognitive stress, and create more healthy behavior by changing our thoughts.  We use the DISARM Tool to change our relationship to thoughts and bodily sensations, to maintain and regain control over our choices.  Stress reduction can reduce reactive behavior and allow humans to focus and move on toward what they decide is important. Continue reading

Power of Positive Reinforcement

Posted on March 24, 2015

A note on “enabling” vs. positive reinforcement
~Jeffrey Foote, PsyD, Center for Motivation and Change

“Caring about and staying connected in a helping way with someone dealing
with substances is not only helpful, it’s one of the most powerful motivators for change.”

Positive ReinforcementIf you are a partner, parent, or child of someone struggling with substance problems, and you live in America, you’ve probably heard this word “enabling” (possibly many, many times). And you’ve probably heard this described as central to your interactions in helping your loved one. Mostly, you have heard “DON’T DO IT”!, and if you are like most concerned family members, you feel vaguely guilty for doing something you’re not even sure you are doing (but you must be, right?). By way of quick review, “enabling” actually means doing positive things that will end up supporting continued negative behavior, such as providing your child with money so they won’t “go hungry” during the day, knowing they use it to buy pot, or going to talk to the teacher to make sure they don’t get a bad grade, even though their bad test score was due to drinking, or calling your husband’s work to explain he’s sick today, when he’s actually hung over. These are examples of doing something “nice” for your loved one that actually (from a behavioral reinforcement standpoint) might increase the frequency of the negative behavior, not decrease it. The logic: if they act badly, and nothing happens, or something good happens, this behavior is encouraged, even if what you are doing is “nice”. This IS enabling, and this is not helpful in changing behavior in a positive direction.

But everything nice is not enabling! And that’s the quicksand we have developed in our culture. Staying connected, rewarding positive behaviors with positivity, being caring and loving; these things are critical to positive change. So what’s the difference? Continue reading